The Direct Seller's Podcast
The Direct Seller's Podcast
Why Network Marketing Comparison Hurts More (+ The Mindset Shifts That Actually Work)
Rachel Perry tackles one of the biggest confidence killers in network marketing: the comparison trap. She shares personal experiences and reveals why comparison hits differently in direct sales, plus gives you a practical 5-step plan to break free and build unshakeable confidence.
In this episode you'll discover:
Why comparison is so brutal in network marketing - from public rankings to social media highlight reels, Rachel explains the unique challenges direct sellers face that other industries don't.
The hidden costs stealing your success - including lost momentum, strategy hopping, desperate energy, and playing small.
Rachel's 5-step "Comparison Detox" plan - practical steps you can take this week to protect your mental space and refocus on your own journey.
Powerful mindset shifts that transform comparison from a confidence killer into fuel for growth.
An identity check to help you separate your worth from your business results.
Key Strategies Rachel Shares:
✨ The Social Media Audit: How to identify and handle content that triggers comparison
✨ Creating Your Own Success Metrics: Moving beyond company rankings to measure what matters
✨ Mental Reframes: Specific language swaps to shift from scarcity to abundance thinking
✨ The Authenticity Factor: Why showing up real gives others permission to do the same
This Week's Challenge:
- Pick one person whose success usually triggers your comparison spiral
- Don't unfollow them, but you can mute/hide their posts from your feed
- Genuinely celebrate their next win - comment encouragingly or send a supportive message
- Practice the scarcity-to-abundance shift in real-time
Key Takeaways
- Comparison is especially brutal in network marketing because success feels public
- You're comparing your behind-the-scenes reality to others' highlight reels
- Everyone has different timelines, resources, and circumstances
- Authenticity gives others permission to be real too
- Your journey and timeline are uniquely yours - stop apologizing for not being further along
Connect with Rachel Perry
- Instagram: Join Rachel between episodes for ongoing support and encouragement
- Free Resource: DM "PODCAST" to receive the free 90-Day Action Planner
- Promise: No spam, no weird sales messages - just genuine connection and valuable resources
Episode Quote
"When you show up authentically, you give other people permission to do the same, and suddenly everyone's playing a different game."
This episode is perfect for direct sellers struggling with confidence, comparison, and finding their unique path to success in network marketing.
Hang out with me more!
Send me the message PODCAST over on Instagram at @rachelaperry and I’ll send you my "Parties-Optional Profit Plan!"
For Additional Resources for Direct Sellers:
www.rachelaperry.com
Welcome to the Direct Sellers Podcast, the podcast for direct sellers who are ready to get uncomfortable, build their business and grow a team while changing the face of the direct sales industry. I'm your host, rachel Perry. Join me as we get real and talk about all the things you need to kick some serious direct sales booty, from overcoming limiting beliefs to sharing the exact strategies you need to attract the right people who become customers and beg to join your team. I've got you covered, girl. I'm going to be your new BFF when it comes to balancing life and kids while building your direct sales business with poise, peace of mind and, of course, a good set of fake eyelashes. Let's get started. Hello, my friends, welcome back to another episode of the Direct Sellers Podcast.
Speaker 1:I'm your host, rachel Perry, and today we're talking about something that's probably eating away at your confidence more than you realize, and that is the comparison trap. Listen, I know that you've heard about, you know comparison being the thief of joy. We've all heard that. I've shared that before. But in network marketing, I think it hits a little bit different because, unlike other industries where your success or lack of success might be private, in network marketing everything feels public. Right, your rank is visible. People are posting you know all these things about how they can do all. They take all these trips and do all these things. Your upline is always celebrating someone else's promotion in the team chat, right? Well, maybe you're still trying to figure out how to get your sales this month, right? So today we're going to talk about why comparison is so brutal in this industry, how to spot it when you're in the trap and, most importantly, how to use other people's success as fuel instead of letting it destroy your confidence. And listen, I've been there I constantly, and not just in network marketing. But you know, when you hear someone else's success, it's so easy If you're not feeling success at that moment, if you're not feeling like you are in a good space wherever whether it be business or personal life it's easy to fall into that comparison trap because it hits like in that pain point right when you see someone else having great success. Now, some people struggle with it more than others. But we're going to start today with why comparison hits so much harder in network marketing than in traditional businesses.
Speaker 1:So, like I mentioned before, everything feels public right In a regular job. You don't know exactly what your coworker makes or how many sales they closed last month. But in network marketing your rank really is often displayed. So your company might publish top earner lists, which feels really good when you're on that list because, hello right, I love to be on those lists. But your upline, or what I should say here, is when your upline celebrates other people's success on team calls as they should, it can feel really defeating when you're not on that list.
Speaker 1:I remember feeling so much excitement and I was so proud when I got the recognition. But when I didn't get the recognition I felt like that spoke volumes more to me. Not that anyone else was speaking those volumes, but I took it to mean something and I'm very much a words of affirmation person. So recognition was big for me and that's why I think I was so successful, because that was what motivated me. But I will say, you know, and I've shared this before, when it comes to dealing with recruiting and building a team, that was not my strength and I felt very discouraged every time other people were celebrated and I couldn't figure out why I couldn't do it. What was I doing wrong? So I don't know if you relate to that at all, but I'm just saying girl, listen, I get you.
Speaker 1:I think the other issue is that you know we talk about social media being the highlight reel, right, like you see all your friends and everyone posting like about their kids and about whatever, and it really is a highlight reel. We don't see people's problems. People don't post their problems, but it's the same, but magnified, I think, with network marketing, because you may see that someone earned their car this month or that they earned their trip or you know they they are being like shared all across your team because on TikTok they made $20,000 in sales last month. But the thing is is you're not seeing the months where they made $500 or the months where they didn't even make their sales goal. We see the luxury car bonus, we see the trip bonus, we see how they're excelling, selling crazy things on TikTok and making insane amount of money on TikTok. You don't see the anxiety they have about maintaining that rank. You don't see how much time they worked away from their family to get that sales goal. You don't see any of that. We see team growth and how many people you know they have on their team, how many people they're recruiting, but you don't see how many people aren't working that month, or how many people have quit. We see all the positive, amazing things, but we don't see the other part of it and there is another part of it, right.
Speaker 1:Also, I think there's a weird culture in network marketing where success stories become recruiting tools. You know what I mean. So everyone's incentivized to make their journey look easier and faster and more glamorous than it actually was because you're recruiting. So it might be like I replaced my corporate income in six months, right? Or maybe you can't say that because of the rules, but you know what I mean. We tend to make things sound so much better than it was really hard work. I worked my butt off for 18 months. I had six terrible months where I wanted to quit and slowly I built something sustainable. Right, that's the truth. But we don't hear that.
Speaker 1:And here's what's really messing with your head. You're comparing your behind the scenes, your behind the scenes, your low points to everyone else's highlight reel. But you're doing it in an industry where success is supposed to be duplicatable, right? So when you see someone crushing it and you're not, you start wondering what's wrong with you? Why isn't it working for you the same way?
Speaker 1:So let's talk about what this comparison trap is actually costing you. First, it's stealing your momentum, my friend. Instead of focusing on your next customer, or your next post, or your next conversation, or you know what you're going to, who you're going to talk to next or who's going to your team, you're scrolling through social media getting depressed about what you're not accomplishing. You're spending mental energy on other people's businesses instead of building your own. Secondly, it's making you change strategies constantly, and I am so guilty of those. You guys, right? You see someone else having success with Instagram reels, for example, or Facebook groups, and so you abandon the strategy that you're using that was starting to work for you, because you see someone else doing it and you're like, okay, I need to do what they're doing. Or you see someone talking about their morning routine, so you completely overhaul yours, even though it was completely fine.
Speaker 1:You're always, it's like you're always chasing someone else's blueprint instead of developing your own, and I am so guilty of this. I think it's also part of my personality to just want new things, so I'm like, oh, this is working, let's try this instead of sticking with the same old, same old, because it gets boring. Right, it gets boring and it's not fun, and I like to have fun, but the reality is you're going to find success doing the same thing over and over again. I mean assuming it's not broken, okay, third, the third reason, I think, or the third example of how this is hurting you, is it's creating this weird energy that people can feel. So when you're consumed with what everyone else is doing, you're not fully present in your own business or your own life.
Speaker 1:Your content feels forced, your conversations feel desperate. Have you ever felt that way? Like you show up feeling so desperate, like it's that desperation energy People can sense. When you're coming from a place of lack, y'all they can sense. If you're coming from a place of lack instead of abundance, they may not be able to verbalize that, but it's like that. It's like that desperation energy. I think I've talked about this before. I just wanted a boyfriend so badly and I didn't have one at the time and I really think I was desperate. I was putting off desperate energy, right, none of us want to be putting that out there.
Speaker 1:And here's the thing this might be the worst piece of it all Like this is what comparison is doing to you. It's making you smaller. You're not sharing your wins because they don't seem big enough compared to what you're seeing online. You're not sharing your wins because they don't seem big enough compared to what you're seeing online. You're not stepping into leadership because you don't feel qualified compared to that person who seems to have it all figured out. Am I right? Do you feel me? Do you feel me? Do you? Are you resonating with this? Because here's the thing I would. I would bet that you probably do resonate with that, okay, but here's what we're going to do. We're going to break free from this, okay. So let's, let me give you some, some practical steps, and I am going to do the same, okay.
Speaker 1:So the first step, I think, is let's really audit what we are thinking, what we are consuming, what is going in right? So, for a week, pay attention to how you feel after consuming certain content. So maybe it's on Instagram, or maybe it's on Facebook, or maybe it's on TikTok, and I want you to pay attention to how specific people and posts are making you feel. So, if there's a person on there who always makes you feel behind or makes you feel just, you can't even describe how it makes you feel, but it's not a good feeling. I want you to unfollow or mute them or hide them for now. This isn't forever, but you need to protect your mental space while you're building your confidence and y'all. I have done this to several people. I have muted them because when I see their posts, it makes me feel just not a good thing. I can't even describe it. Sometimes Maybe it's jealousy, sometimes Maybe it's like this panic, because I don't feel like I'm caught up. Whatever it is, it's not good. So I'm gonna have you mute them, unfollow them, whatever. We don't need to get all dramatic and unfollow. You can literally just hide them. That's on Instagram I'm not sure about what the terminology is for Facebook. So that's the first step.
Speaker 1:Second step is I want you to create your own success metrics. Okay, so, yes, your company measures your success from your rank, your volume, your team size, your sales. But what are your metrics? Maybe it's having one meaningful conversation a day, or maybe it's helping one customer solve a problem. Maybe it's showing up consistently for 30 days, and let's get really specific on what that means. What is consistent for you? Okay, define your success in a way that's within your control, not somebody else's.
Speaker 1:Okay, step three girl, you're going to celebrate your behind the scenes wins. Okay, maybe we need to have a party You're going to. You're going to celebrate the little things Like did you have a tough conversation with a team member? That is leadership, my friend. Did you post consistently, even when you didn't feel like it? Hi, that's discipline. Did you learn something new about your product? That's growth. Did you listen to a podcast like this one that helped you with your mindset? That's personal growth. And most of your real wins, my friend, happen in private. They don't happen in stories on Instagram. They don't happen on a post on TikTok or on a video on TikTok okay. They happen behind the scenes, where nobody else sees them and you don't recognize them because you're so focused on what everybody else is doing. Focused on what everybody else is doing. Okay.
Speaker 1:Next step Remember that everyone's timeline is different. Everyone has a. Your journey is not her journey. Okay. The person who replaced her income in six months, she may have had 20 years of sales experience, a huge network from her previous company or financial resources that allowed her to invest differently than you can, company or financial resources that allowed her to invest differently than you can. Her timeline is not your timeline and that is okay.
Speaker 1:Okay, and the last step, from breaking free from this comparison trap is to use comparison as data, not as judgment. So, when you see someone doing really well, instead of thinking why can't that happen to me, I'm literally doing everything I'm supposed to do. Why am I not the one that's getting the results that she is, instead ask what can I learn here? Maybe they've been consistent with their content, maybe they're really good at follow-up, maybe they've gotten really clear on their target audience. Whatever it is, I want you to take the lesson, but not the judgment. No more self-judgment. Okay.
Speaker 1:So let me just recap how you're going to break free from this comparison trap. Let's call it the comparison detox. Step one is audit your inputs. Step two is create your own success metrics. Step three is celebrate your behind-the-scenes wins. Step four is remember that behind the scenes wins. Step four is remember that everyone's timeline is different. And step five is use the comparison. Use the ad information and I don't even want to use the word comparison. Use that information as data, not as self judgment.
Speaker 1:Okay, so, let's, let's talk. Let me give you some practical tips, ways that you can do this. Okay, so the next time you see someone's success and you feel that familiar sting of comparison, I want you to practice this mental flip. So, instead of saying, man, they are so lucky. Instead say you know what? If they can do it, so can I. Or if you're thinking I'll never be that successful, I will never have a team like her, I will never be director level, I will never Instead, say I'm on my own journey, I'm on my own journey. That might not be my journey, I'm on my own journey Instead of what's wrong with me. Instead, try what can I learn from this? And here's a big one. This is big y'all.
Speaker 1:I want you to start rooting for other people's success genuinely. I know it sounds counterintuitive, but when you can genuinely celebrate someone else's win, it shifts your energy from that scarcity to abundance. It tells your brain that success is possible and it's available. And that can be hard. We tend to fall into that sort of the comparison trap, for lack of a better term, and that's when we start getting really down ourselves. But what if, instead, you're like oh my gosh, I'm so excited for her. Even if you don't feel it, say it out loud. Say it out loud because it will help. Also, remember that someone else's success doesn't diminish yours. There isn't a limited amount of success in the world? Seriously, there's not. It's not like well, she ranked up. Therefore, I don't think there's going to be any left for me. No, their win does not equal your loss, sister. The market is big enough for all of us to thrive.
Speaker 1:I feel like I am on like I'm preaching from a pulpit today, like I'm getting really into this. I'm sure you can tell I hope that I don't know. Maybe you can't, I don't know but I'm feeling like really pumped up over this Because I think that we just struggle. So many of us struggle with this at different times, maybe not all the time, but this is really important. So, listen, I want you to start sharing your own journey more authentically. Someone told me the other day that authenticity is I don't, I don't really understand this sort of language but the frequency of authenticity is higher than the frequency of love. I don't really know what that means, but my friend told me that and I was like that's interesting. But basically, authenticity is important.
Speaker 1:Okay, not just the wins, the real stuff, the hard days, the lessons, the growth. When you show up authentically, you give other people permission to do the same and suddenly everyone's playing a different game. Do you hear me on that. When you show up authentically, you are giving other people a permission to do the same, and that's powerful. So, before we wrap up, I do want to do a quick identity check with you, so I want you to answer these questions.
Speaker 1:Okay, are you defining yourself by your rank? I think that is one of the biggest issues I see with my students is that their rank defines who they are, and I'm constantly, you know, encouraging them and reminding them that their rank does not define who they are. That's not who they are, it's just a thing. Okay, there's no emotion connected to that, there's no meaning. It's just a thing, okay. Hey, are you defining yourself by how much you make? Are you defining yourself by how you compare to others in your company? Because here's the truth you are not your business results. You're a whole person with value that exists, completely separate from your network marketing success. Your worth isn't determined by whether you hit your goals this month or whether you recruit five more people in your downline. No, that doesn't mean anything. Okay, your worth.
Speaker 1:You are worthy just because you exist and when you remember that, comparison loses its power over you because you're not competing with anyone. You're just becoming the best version of yourself and when you can give that reality check to yourself. When you do that, it really does take away the power. It's like fear, right? I always want my kids or shame. I always encourage my kids to share the thing that they're thinking, that they don't want to because they feel embarrassed or they feel ashamed or they feel like they shouldn't be thinking that because, chances are, when you speak it out loud, it takes away the power, right? It's fear. When you speak it out loud, that power is gone because you're acknowledging it, we're not hiding it, and it's the same for comparison.
Speaker 1:So your challenge for this week okay, I want you to pick one person whose success usually triggers your comparison spiral and now, instead of unfollowing them, I want you to genuinely celebrate their next win. You can hide them or meet them, but don't don't unfollow. But I just want you to really be genuine in celebrating their next win. So maybe it's in your Facebook group. So maybe maybe it's in the team Facebook group. You don't have to follow them on social, but just in the group. If you see that your upline is shouting someone out, I want you to genuinely celebrate their next win. Comment something encouraging, send them a message.
Speaker 1:I want you to practice shifting from scarcity to abundance. Okay, and, like I said, you can hide them or mute them on, you know, on your feed, but in the Facebook group, celebrate that person and I want you to really be genuine about it. I want you to not fall into that trap that we just talked about. Instead, I want you to find that joy for them. We're gonna practice that shift from scarcity to abundance and remember my friend, my beautiful, beautiful friend. Your journey is your journey, your timeline is yours, your version of success is yours. So stop apologizing for not being further along and start celebrating how far you've come.
Speaker 1:My friends, I adore you. I appreciate you listening to this. I just adore you and I am rooting for you and I'm so excited for you to step out of this trap. All right, listen until next week, take care. That's it for this episode of the direct sellers podcast, but our fun doesn't have to end now. You'll catch me hanging out over on Instagram between episodes and I'd love for you to join me. So hop into my DMs. I promise you're not getting any hate girl messages and I promise I'm not going to be asking you to weirdly buy anything. Send me the message podcast so I can send you my free 90 day action planner, because who doesn't love a good template?