The Direct Seller's Podcast
The Direct Seller's Podcast
How to Stop Shrinking Yourself and Start Showing Up Unapologetically
Episode Introduction:
Ever feel like you’re doing all the right things in your direct sales business but still hitting a wall? You’re not alone. In this raw and real episode, Rachel shares a powerful revelation she had during a recent coaching session—she’s been unintentionally shrinking herself. And chances are, you might be doing the same.
Key Points Covered:
- The sneaky ways high-achievers shrink themselves without realizing it
- Why being “likable” might be limiting your growth and income
- How people-pleasing and needing approval can silently sabotage your success
- Subtle signs you're filtering your personality—especially on social media
- Real talk: Being “too much” is exactly what your audience needs
- Rachel’s challenge: 7 days of unhinged YOU (and what that could look like)
- Why you don’t need permission to evolve, do things differently, or lead boldly
- How softening your edges to make others comfortable keeps you stuck
- Why your next chapter requires a different version of you—and how to find her
- Encouragement to stop downplaying your bold opinions, wins, or desires
Closing Reminder:
You don’t have to shrink to be safe. You don’t have to fit into someone else’s version of success. You were meant to stand out. Let’s get unhinged. Let’s be fully YOU. And when you do? Tag Rachel on Instagram @rachelaperry so she can cheer you on.
Hang out with me more!
Send me the message PODCAST over on Instagram at @rachelaperry and I’ll send you my "Parties-Optional Profit Plan!"
For Additional Resources for Direct Sellers:
www.rachelaperry.com
Welcome to the Direct Sellers Podcast, the podcast for direct sellers who are ready to get uncomfortable, build their business and grow a team while changing the face of the direct sales industry. I'm your host, rachel Perry. Join me as we get real and talk about all the things you need to kick some serious direct sales booty From overcoming limiting beliefs to sharing the exact strategies you need to attract the right people who become customers and beg to join your team. I've got you covered, girl. I'm going to be your new BFF when it comes to balancing life and kids while building your direct sales business with poise, peace of mind and, of course, a good set of fake eyelashes. Let's get started. Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of the Direct Sellers Podcast. I'm your host, rachel Perry, and today we are going to get real.
Speaker 1:It's so funny because I always say I'm either super excited for this episode or I'm like we're going to get real. Like when are we not real? Like when am I not real, right? Actually, it's funny that I say that because we are going to talk about are we being real? Are we showing up as our full selves? So I have to tell you something. I actually had a revelation yesterday. I have been shrinking myself again. I've been hiding, I've been adding a filter, what? And I didn't even know. This was not in an obvious way and it wasn't in like a self-deprecating like who am I to do this kind of way? It was more like a subtle, I don't know, sneaky, maybe high achiever way.
Speaker 1:And if you are in direct sales and you're feeling frustrated or stuck or like you're meant for more, or you're doing all the things and it's not working, whatever it is, girl, this episode is for you. So let me tell you I had a call with one of my coaches the other day, and I'd requested this one-on-one call because I felt like I was hitting a wall. I didn't understand why I wasn't moving as fast as I wanted to, because, in business, because I'm doing all the things, I'm doing all the strategies, but I kept hitting a wall and I couldn't figure out what it was. And so I spoke to my coach one of my coaches and I was like listen, I just need you to tell me like it is. What do you see? And that's scary, right, it's scary when you ask someone else to tell you what they think you're doing wrong. And, honestly, it wasn't. I don't think that I. I thought maybe there was something that I'm doing wrong that I can fix, and she's like you're not doing anything wrong, but let's talk about this.
Speaker 1:So I was very willing to be very vulnerable and open and raw and I was willing to hear what she had to say. And I think we have to get to that point when we and I've always been like this with my coaches Like if I'm paying to be a part of a program or I'm paying to be a part of a mastermind, I want you to tell me like it is. I need to hear the hard stuff, right? We need to be willing to hear the hard stuff because, guess what? We're all flawed. None of us are perfect, and sometimes people on the outside looking in are more objective. They're able to see what might be the problem.
Speaker 1:So I did that yesterday and I learned some things about myself, or I realized some things about myself that were surprising to me, right? She basically said I don't even remember the question that she asked me, but it was something like what's holding you back? And I was like I don't think anything's holding me back, I'm showing up, I'm showing up in my full self. And she was like Rachel, I kind of feel like you're not. And I was like what are you talking about? I've been pulling out the wigs, I'm vulnerable. She's like actually, it feels a little awkward. Your stories don't seem like you. And I was like what, like my Instagram stories? And I really took a hard look at myself and I realized that she's right, I'm not showing up in my full self, I'm still holding myself back a little bit.
Speaker 1:And so we started diving into that Like why am I doing that? Why am I not showing up in my full, bold, rachel self? Why am I downplaying myself sometimes? And I realized that I've been keeping myself just likable enough or safe enough or just digestible enough. I think that's probably more like it. Like I don't want to be too much because I don't want people to reject me, or I don't want people to feel uncomfortable, or I don't want people to decide they don't want to be around me.
Speaker 1:I wasn't being the version of me that I know I'm here to be, because I've always been told, basically, you're too much right. Like you're weird, rachel, you're weird right when I'm being crazy in myself. Or okay, like all right, rach. Like you're too sensitive or you wear your heart on your sleeve or you're too emotional, and whether or not those were the stories or whether or not those were the words people were using, many times they were. I remember the weird comments all the time, but that's what I heard, and so I found that I knew the way to not have those comments is to kind of downplay myself. Let's put a filter on me, let's simmer down a little bit Rach, right.
Speaker 1:And the thing is, is this, this pattern that I'm falling into of shrinking myself, is a pattern that I see many of you falling into as well? Okay, and let's talk about what that might look like. So for me it was, and I'm still figuring out what, how I'm shrinking. I'm still I don't think that I fully am aware, to be totally honest, of how I diminish myself. I don't say things that I mean sometimes I and I and I don't mean like I'm not a jerk, but I do mean sometimes I don't say exactly what I think because I don't want people to think badly of me or I don't want someone to think I'm being rude about them.
Speaker 1:Another way I see people shrinking themselves is over explaining things. So if you decide to do something different, right, like if your upline is telling you to do something or telling you, encouraging you to do a strategy that's worked for her or works for people in her downline, but you don't want to, because you don't feel like it's right for you, you over-explain why you're not doing it. I've been there over-explaining why I'm doing the things that I'm doing. That's shrinking ourselves y'all. We need to own. Own it right, playing down your, your ideas, so that you don't outshine anyone. Oh my gosh, playing down your sales and your and your ranks. You're, you're ranking up in leadership. Like, maybe you play that down, maybe you play down wins that you have so that you don't outshine anyone.
Speaker 1:Or maybe you're waiting for someone to give you permission to do what you want to do, and that 100% is something that I really identify with. I am very much a play within or color within the lines type of person. Right, like, let me follow the rules, here's what works for everybody else. So this has to work for me, and I've been waiting for someone to give me permission. But guess what, nobody needs to give us permission. We need to give ourselves permission.
Speaker 1:Right, holding back your bold opinions so you don't ruffle feathers y'all. That is shrinking yourself, and shrinking isn't always loud Sometimes it looks like you're just softening your edges so you don't scare people away or loud. Sometimes it looks like you're just softening your edges so you don't scare people away. Or maybe like tiptoeing around the truth because you don't want to make someone else feel uncomfortable. Oh my gosh, right Like this is me to a T no more, sister, no more. And if this is you, let's say no more. All right, listen, you don't need to stay small to stay safe. You didn't come this far to still be asking for permission. Right, you're allowed to evolve. You're allowed to lead differently. You're allowed to do more. Right, what if you stopped trying to be so you know? Okay, and non, non, oh, what's the word I'm looking for? You don't want to rock the boat. What if, instead, you're like screw it, I'm going to be powerful. Instead, I'm going to rock the boat if it needs to be rocked.
Speaker 1:I am such a rule follower and also I think there's some self doubt sometimes in myself, and a lot of that comes from being a pleaser, and as a pleaser, right, growing up, you're always looking for approval from others. You're always looking for approval and I 100% was that person and I hate that. My kids are like that now and I feel like what did I do wrong there? But a lot of it is probably they're my children, so they come by it honestly. But we don't need other people's approval, and the fact that I turned 50 last month, two months ago, and I'm still discovering that I still look for people's approval was a big eye opener for me. Because the thing is is, you don't need it. You don't need it. We don't need approval from others.
Speaker 1:Who we are is amazing and wonderful and it's who God has designed us to be. We don't need to dim our light so that other people feel comfortable. We don't need to do that and sometimes we do. Sometimes we do it around our spouses, right, our family, because of whatever has happened in the past, whatever. But we don't need to be like that. Who we are is who we are meant to be, right. We are meant to be the humans that we are. And listen, what got you here? Who? The person that you were that got you here is not the person that's gonna take you to the next chapter, and we're always evolving. We're always evolving. We should be okay. We don't need to be digestible, right. Your power is in your presence, not in your perfection. We need to stand in our full power, right, like no more shrinking ourselves, no more being afraid that we'll offend or confuse people.
Speaker 1:Yesterday I said to my coach in this conversation I was like, yeah, but I think sometimes I'm worried that, you know, in this cancel culture, I'm going to say the wrong thing. And she was like F it Be, you, don't hold back. Now, obviously I don't want to say things that are offensive, but I do think that we really do filter ourselves so much and hold ourselves back from being who we really are, because we don't want people to be like analogy so many times. But it's like if a boy, a little boy, is telling people what to do, right, like he's telling people like if they're having a play date or something, and he's like no, we're going to do this, we're going to do this. We go, oh, you know what he is so assertive, like he's got vision or whatever. But if a little girl does it, what do we say? Oh, she's bossy, right.
Speaker 1:And I think so much of this is sort of like we've learned this behavior, right, we don't want to be too much, we don't want people to go okay, and like, when I tell you how like this has happened to me so much, calm down, right. Do you ever hear that Calm down? Okay, calm down, like you're, you're a little bit too much. It really. We internalize this and I have internalized it, and so my encouragement to you is to recognize this and let's let's stop shrinking ourselves, let's step into the full version of ourselves. And this might take some reflection, like you might need to really like think about this. And I'll tell you the truth, like I've been thinking about this since I ended my call with my coach yesterday and I'm thinking about all the ways that I minimize myself and I think about all the things that I say. And do I say things softly, like I tried to soften the blow. Have you ever done that? You know you soften the blow, whatever the blow is right.
Speaker 1:Like me saying this has taken me a long time to say I don't think your direct sales business is your end game. I really don't. I think there's more for you out there. And by me saying that I am closing some doors, like there isn't a network marketing company that's gonna necessarily want me to hire or wanna hire me to speak on stages for their company. Why? Because I'm telling people that I don't think direct sales is the end game. I think it's where you start. I'm not bought in that this is your life, that this is going to be your life for the rest of your life. I don't, for some people, sure, I think you are meant for more. It doesn't mean I think you need to quit your direct sales business. Not at all. I just think it's let's put an. And there I have a direct sales business, and right.
Speaker 1:It's so important for us to recognize that we are meant for more. And what does that more look like for you? I don't know. Only you know. And the thing is is we have to reflect on this, we have to take the time to process this. Right, me talking to you right now, in this 20 minutes. You're not going to be like okay, well, that is all fixed and done, and now I know how I'm filtering myself and I'm going to show up differently. This is a process for me too.
Speaker 1:So my coach challenged me to do seven days of unhinged Rachel and I was like okay. And then I'm like but what does that look like? Cause I kind of feel like I'm my full self, like I kind of already feel like that's who I am. So I don't know who that is. And of course, I started overthinking it. Hello, remember, I'm already like trying to like simmer myself down and uh, then I was like you know what I was laying in bed this morning and I thought, you know, I'm going to do a reel where I share things about myself. I'm going to share me being stupid. I'm going to share me dancing. I'm going to share me wearing a wig. I'm going to share me dancing on a stripper pole on a bus that I did for my birthday. We went to a winery and we got a limo bus and there was a stripper pole on there and you know, I danced on that. Right, I've been hiding that part of me.
Speaker 1:I didn't want people to judge me, because I don't want people to be like oh my gosh, like she's crazy. No, don't want people to be like, oh my gosh, like she's crazy. No, this is who I am. Y'all Guess what? Here's another reality. I cuss, I say bad words and I love Jesus.
Speaker 1:Right, I am not perfect. I'm so imperfect and so flawed, but I like who I am. I like this flawed version. I don't want to be perfect, I want to be me. I want to be who God has created me to be, and this has been such a journey for me, and you guys have been along this journey with me. But I just want to encourage you. Who are you meant to be? Who are you meant to be? Let's take this filter off. Who are you? Who are you? Tell me? I want to know who are you, and my challenge to you this week is let's get unhinged. Who is the real you? And if you want to do seven days of unhinged you, let's do it and tag me. Tag me on Instagram at Rachel A Perry.
Speaker 1:If you do something unhinged For me today, it was that real. Another thing that I did that was unhinged for me was wearing a wig and lip syncing to a song. Why? That doesn't mean that that's what it is for you, but that's fun for me, to just be silly and goofy. I need to show more of that. What is it for you? I don't know. Only you know.
Speaker 1:So that's my challenge to you today is to stop shrinking and start showing up as you. Show up as the full. Insert your name, because that's who the world wants to see and that is who you've been designed to be All right and listen seriously, come and check out. Well, by the time. Well no, there'll be still unhinged days left, and I'm not.
Speaker 1:Here's the thing. I have seven days of unhinged Rachel, but guess what? This, I think, is a process for me to recognize who I really am. So this is gonna keep happening. I'm showing up. I'm committed to showing up in full Rachel Perry mode. So make sure you come and hang out and again, get unhinged, sister, and tag me when you do. Let's be our full selves. Okay, all right, I love you and I appreciate you listening and I hope you have an amazing week. And until next time, my friend, take care. That's it for this episode of the direct sellers podcast, but our fun doesn't have to end now. You'll catch me hanging out over on Instagram between episodes and I'd love for you to join me. So hop into my DMS. I promise you're not getting any hate girl messages and I promise I'm not going to be asking you to weirdly buy anything. Send me the message podcast so I can send you my free 90 day action planner, because who doesn't love a good template?